Coffee Will Make You Black Read online

  “Yeah, she got her nerve,” I mumbled.

  “Hey, if’n it was me, hey, something would have to jump off! It’d be me and her, ’cause don’t nobody talk ’bout my mama and get away with it!” Denise shouted.

  I reached in the basket and pulled out my sailor blouse and hung it on the line.

  Denise grabbed the clothesline. “You gon jump on her, Stevie?” Her eyes were as big as silver dollars.

  “Niece, you think I should fight her?”

  “Hey, is fat meat greasy? Damn straight! Sides, you ain’t got no choice. She say she gon kick yo ass if she catches you!”

  “Oh,” I said, feeling like my knees might give out.

  I held on to the clothesline for support. “Maybe me and her could just stay outta each other’s way. She sits two whole rows away from me in class. I mean, I haven’t had that many fights before. And I never fought over a boy.”

  “Look, you can’t let somebody just push you around, talk about your mama, take away your man, uh uh, not if you wanna hang with us,” Gail said, shaking her head.

  “If you run from her, people will walk all over you the rest of your life, girl!” Denise shouted.

  “Are you sure she said she’s gonna jump on me if she sees me?”

  “That’s exactly what the hoe said. Don’t tell me you scared of her ’cause she’s taller than you and already twelve. Don’t let them long fingernails she got scare you neither,” Denise continued, glancing down at my short nails.

  “Look, Stevie, you ain’t got nothing to be scared of. Carla might be taller, but y’all got ’bout the same mounta meat on y’all’s bones,” Gail pointed out.

  “I guess you’re right.” I forced myself to smile.

  “Could you believe Carla told me that Michael’s gonna ask her to go with him? Michael ain’t thinking about that gap-toothed hoe!” Denise laughed.

  “So what you want us to tell her?” Gail asked. “You say you ready for her anytime, anyplace, right? You say y’all can duke it out!”

  “Tell her you say, Come awn, baby, come awn!” Denise cut in.

  Gail and Denise didn’t wait for me to answer; they put up their fists and pretended to box. I tried to act like I was having fun watching them.

  “Jean! Jean!”

  “What, Mama?”

  “Don’t what me, come in here and see what I want. Your daddy needs you to go to the store.”

  “See you, Stevie.” Gail patted my shoulder.

  “Don’t worry, girl, we’ll be watching out for you.” Denise winked.

  “Yeah, girl, we got your back,” Gail added.

  “Thanks.” I let out a big sigh as I walked toward the house.

  chapter 3

  Mama was standing in front of me trying to push a dollar into my hand.

  “Here, run to the store and get your daddy some Ex-Lax, run on now.”

  “Mama, can’t Kevin or David go? They’re not doing nothing but watching TV.” I sure didn’t want to go out now, if Carla was looking for me.

  “Don’t tell me who to send, I’m sending you. Now get going.”

  “It’s not fair, I’m the one who has to do everything around here just because I’m the girl. They don’t have to wash dishes, they don’t have to hang up clothes, they don’t have to clean the bathroom, they don’t have to lift a finger!”

  “You forgot to mention that you were the only one who got a new Easter outfit last month. And I didn’t hear the boys complaining then. Funny you never complain about being the only one who doesn’t have to share a room with anybody. Now the boys are watching a baseball game, it would be unfair to make one of them go to the store. You know how it is when you’re involved in something. You could’ve been halfway to the store by now steada standing here arguing with me.”

  “Mama, I can’t go …”

  “Don’t make me have to whip you.” Mama tried to hand me the dollar.

  Instead of taking the money, I ran to my room. I fell on my bed and buried my face in my pillow.

  “What’s wrong with you, Jean Eloise? Do you want me to call the asylum? Have you lost your mind?” Mama shouted from the doorway.

  “No,” I said, staring at my pillow.

  “Then get up or I’m going to get a belt and wear you out!”

  “Nothing’s the matter,” I said, sitting up.

  “Well, if there’s nothing wrong with you then I’ll let you explain to your daddy why you can’t go to the store, that is, if you’d rather deal with him than with me.”

  Mama started folding my clothes on the chair and putting them in the dresser.

  I decided I’d rather deal with Mama; at least she wasn’t constipated.

  “Mama, this girl says she’s gonna beat me up if she catches me.”

  “What for? What she want to fight you about?”

  “Over Michael, she likes Michael and she knows I like him too.”

  “Now, that’s stupid, two girls fighting over some old, stanky boy.” Mama groaned and sat down in the chair.

  “Jean, come here and pick these marbles up out of the floor.”

  “Mama, she says Michael is going to ask her to go with him.”

  “To go where?”

  “Oh, Mama, you know,” I said, putting my marbles in their pouch.

  “No, I don’t. Where are they going? They’re not going anywhere. How much has he spent on her? I bet he hasn’t so much as bought her a Tastee-Freez. Humph. All he can do is get her in trouble. Thought I told you to stay away from that boy anyway. Going together! You better go with some schoolbooks! You got no reason to fight anybody.”

  “She said something about you too, Mama. Carla Perkins said something bad about you.”

  “About me? I don’t want you fighting anybody counta what they said about me. They don’t even know me. What do I care what somebody out there in the street says about me. They’re not First National Bank; they don’t sign my check.”

  Mama pointed to the floor. “Look, if you’re not going to finish that puzzle then put the pieces back in the box.” I got on my knees and started breaking up the Empire State building.

  “So, what did she say about me?”

  “Oh, nothing.”

  “First you want to fight over a boy, then just over plain nothing.”

  I looked up from the puzzle. “It wasn’t just nothing, Mama, it was bad!”

  “She doesn’t even know me, how bad could it be?”

  “Real bad.”

  “Girl, you done started, so you may as well finish it. Out with it now!”

  I stared at the puzzle pieces. “She said—she said you so black when you sweat, you sweat chocolate.” I looked up at Mama out of the corner of my eye.

  “Is Carla Perkins that gap-toothed child across the alley? Her mama does hair at No Naps Beauty Salon; they came over here passing out cards a year ago?”

  “That’s her.” I nodded.

  “You scared of her? She’s nobody to be scared of, aren’t you bigger than she is?”

  “No, not anymore, she grew.”

  “Well, you can’t stay cooped up in this house forever. You’re going to have to face her sooner or later.”

  Daddy walked into the room, and I sat down on my bed.

  “You back from the store? Where’s my Ex-Lax? What’s going on here?”

  I glanced at Daddy standing in the doorway in his gray janitor’s uniform. He didn’t look too happy. I just stared down at my quilt. I decided to keep my mouth shut and let Mama do the talking.

  “Ray, she’s scared to go out ’cause some girl says she’s gonna beat her up over some boy,” Mama said, sucking her teeth in.

  “What!” Daddy folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. “Look, if anybody messes with you, you pick up something—a brick, a rock, whatever—and say, Come on, you think you bad, I’ll show you who’s bad, come on! If you don’t see anything to pick up, take your fist and bust them dead in their mouth!”

  For a minute I saw myself bei
ng tough just like Daddy said, and I couldn’t help but smile a little.

  “Ray, listen how you sound. You’ll have somebody out there getting hurt.”

  “Yeah, and it won’t be her. Evelyn, she’s got the right to defend herself. And if knocking somebody upside the head is the only way people will leave her alone, too bad. I was a red nigger in Oklahoma, remember. Now g’on girl, get outta here and get me my stuff.”

  I could hear my brothers clapping and yelling. “Home run, jack! Home run, jack!”

  “All right!” Daddy shouted, rushing toward the living room.

  “Jean, sometimes you have to stand up to somebody before they respect you,” Mama said.

  “Evelyn, bring me another beer!”

  I let out a breath as I took the dollar from Mama and stood up to go.

  I had made it to the store in one piece and was on my way home with Daddy’s Ex-Lax in my pocket. I had been careful not to pass Carla’s building and I would be able to reach my gate without passing her yard if I cut through our alley. I checked to see if the coast was clear. I let out a breath; there were only a couple of little boys playing with a big red ball. Hey, maybe by Monday Carla would’ve forgotten all about me, I thought as I walked down the alley. I could relax, I was almost home now.

  “Hey, y’all, there she is!” One of the little boys yelled. All of a sudden a bunch of kids came running out of Carla’s yard toward me. I immediately recognized Carla, Denise, Gail, and Michael with his White Sox cap on backward, in the crowd.

  I felt really scared all of a sudden. I was afraid my legs would give out or I would pee on myself. It was like I was a runaway prisoner that the hound dogs had captured in one of those movies. It crossed my mind to try and make a run for it as the crowd made a circle around me, rubbing their hands together, screaming for a fight. How would it look to run home like a scared rabbit, though? Forget how it would look, could I beat them to the gate?

  “Humbug! Humbug!” A boy named Andre yelled, slapping his fist and jumping up and down. I could tell he’d be very disappointed if I started yelling for my mama and she came out and rescued me. Carla walked toward me looking mean. I searched for Denise and Gail, but neither of them would meet my glance. My heart sank. They were supposed to be my backup. How could they not be on my side now?

  What was I going to do?

  Maybe Carla wasn’t as unreasonable as she looked. I opened my mouth to try and explain things to her, to let her know she could have Michael, I didn’t want him. Then Andre shouted, “Okay, the baddest one hit my hand!” Of course Carla hit his hand. Andre slapped my shoulder, “Okay, she hit you, come on, duke it out, y’all.”

  “Give them some space now!” another boy yelled.

  I didn’t move. Carla was so close I could smell Cheetos on her breath.

  “She hit you, hit her back,” a girl named Peaches screamed as though she’d paid money for this. Like we were Cassius Clay and Sonny Liston.

  “You can’t run from no fight!” Gail shouted.

  “I ain’t gonna let her run!” All of a sudden I felt Denise push me into Carla. Carla pushed back, and I almost lost my balance.

  “I didn’t even know you liked Michael. You can have him,” I said, trying to keep from crying.

  “Bitch, I ain’t stuttin’ Michael!”

  “Ooh, she called you a bitch! Doon, baby, doon!” Andre yelled.

  I couldn’t believe my ears. If Carla didn’t want Michael, then what were we fighting about?

  Before I could ask her, Carla grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into a tall chain-link fence. I could feel the cold metal digging in my back. Carla took her right hand and yanked my ponytail loose. The rubber band fell in my face.

  “Ooh, you let her do you like that!” Peaches yelled.

  “That’s for talking about my mama, don’t nobody talk about my mama and get away with it!” Carla shouted, holding her hand up like a claw. She looked ready to rake her nails across my face at any minute.

  I knew I hadn’t said anything about her mama.

  Tears were starting up in my eyes and a hot anger took over me. I stomped on Carla’s foot. Ouch! I had taken her by surprise. She bent down and I grabbed her shoulders and pushed her into the dirt and concrete. I was mad at Denise, Gail, Carla, Michael, all of them. I couldn’t believe it. I had Carla on the ground. Years of wrestling with my brothers was about to pay off. All of a sudden Carla looked scared. The crowd seemed quiet and excited at the same time. Most of them didn’t care who won, I thought, they just wanted to see a fight.

  I held Carla down, sitting on top of her stomach and pinning her arms to the ground. “Carla, I never said nothing about your mama!”

  “You a lie, you said my mama so black when she sweat she sweated chocolate.”

  “Ooh, ooh.” Somebody laughed.

  “Look, Carla, I never said any such thing. That’s what Denise said you said about my mama!”

  Carla looked confused, then she looked mad for being in this position. “Niece, you know I ain’t said nothing about this girl’s mama, why you tell that lie on me?”

  Denise was quiet.

  “Let me up, girl. We gon get to the bottom of this shit.”

  I was glad to get up, glad the fight was over.

  Carla dusted off her T-shirt and jeans. You could tell she had hated being on the ground. Gail stood between Carla and Denise.

  “Stevie was trying to take Michael away from Niece. Niece and Michael was talking way before Stevie came into the picture.”

  “I wasn’t trying to take anyone away from anybody. Michael’s the one who came up to me. I was minding my own business.” I faced Denise. “You never even told me you liked Michael.”

  “Player, Michael man, you a player.” Calvin stretched his hand out and Andre gave him five.

  “Well, why did y’all drag my name into it, I ain’t had nothin’ to do with it.” Carla gave Denise an evil look.

  “Niece wanted to see Stevie get her ass kicked, to teach her to leave somebody’s man alone,” Gail explained.

  “Which one do you dig, Michael? You got to pick,” Peaches insisted.

  Michael hooked his thumbs in his belt loops. “Hey, I ain’t in it, it’s between them two. Baby, I ain’t tied to nobody.”

  “Neither am I,” I said loudly.

  “Ooh, she said neither is she!” Andre yelled.

  “Didn’t nan one of y’all tell the girl that Niece liked Michael, then how she s’posed to know he yo man?” Carla folded her arms and stuck her mouth out.

  “Yeah, how was I s’posed to know?” I folded my arms too.

  Neither Gail nor Denise had an answer.

  “Niece and Gail, I don’t ’predate y’all dragging me into this bullshit! Don’t ever bring no shit like this to my door again. What kind of fool do y’all take me for? I ain’t fighting y’all’s battles. Y’all must think I’m a new kind of fool.”

  I remembered my Daddy’s Ex-Lax. “I don’t got time for this shit either,” I said, surprised to hear myself cuss.

  I cut my eyes at Gail and Denise; they looked away. I turned to go.

  “Say, Stevie, you don’t need people like them,” Carla said.

  I looked at Carla. “Neither do you,” I said.

  Carla looked surprised, but she couldn’t help but smile a little.

  There was something about Carla that I liked. I had a feeling that she felt the same way about me.

  It was Sunday evening, and I’d just finished telling Grandma about the fight yesterday. I was washing the dinner dishes and she was sitting at the kitchen table working on her new quilt.

  Daddy had gone to Walgreen’s last night and bought half a gallon of Neapolitan ice cream, my favorite, to celebrate my victory. My brothers were mad that I hadn’t sent anybody to come get them to watch the fight. Daddy, David, and Kevin had talked about the fight till Mama made them shut up. But I could tell that Mama was glad that I had stood up for myself too. She said she knew Gail and Denise were no go
od the first time she’d laid eyes on them. Mama said she hadn’t liked the idea of me hanging out with two no-churchgoing Baptists anyhow.

  I had finished the dishes and was sitting in Grandma’s lap. Daddy was in the bathroom; a day later, the Ex-Lax was finally working. We could hear Mama getting after David and Kevin in the living room.

  “Give me the water gun! I don’t care who it belongs to! I’m not going to have you running through my living room like heathens, jumping on my furniture. We work too hard for things. And David, put a shirt on, I don’t know where you all think you are. You act just like a bunch of savages. I don’t blame white folks for not wanting to be around you. I wish I had somewhere I could go myself sometimes. Now, boys, if you’re going to watch Bonanza, sit down in front of the TV and watch it!”

  “You think you and that girl Carla will turn out to be friends?” Grandma asked as she held me in her lap.

  “Maybe. I don’t think we’ll ever be tight like me and Terri were.”

  “Life is funny, you never know about life,” Grandma said.

  I could never see Carla joining the Peace Corps, I thought.

  “Here comes Mama.” I rolled my eyes.

  Mama walked into the kitchen with her apron on. She frowned when she saw me in Grandma’s lap.

  “Evelyn, you peed tonight, like the old folks used to say, you peed with that dinner. Chile, you a true Dickens, cause you sho can fry you some chicken,” Grandma bragged.

  “Mama, you sound like somebody in the backwoods. Don’t talk like that. You’ll forget one day and say that out somewhere.”

  “I’m like Salem cigarettes, y’all took me out the country but y’all ain’t took the country outta me. You dragged me away from the Baptist church to the African Methodist Episcopal, but I still miss the singing. I’m sorry, child, but every now and then I’ve got to just tell it like it is.”

  Mama shook her head and started sweeping the kitchen floor. “Mama, you used to say the world was no place for anybody soft and colored, but now every time you look around, you got Jean up in your lap.”

  I looked at Mama, but didn’t move. Something told me not to get up this time.